I really like fine dining
I like a three course meal
I like fine wine and caviar
I like a tender veal
I like foie gras I like cigars
I even like expensive cars
I like Rolex watches
And I really like a nice ming vase
But even more that all of that
My one and only secret shame
The thing that brings me to my knees
The sight of gleaming porcelain
I like a big urinal
I like Armitage Shanks
When I see a toilet
I have to do my toilet dance

Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet

Toilets are amazing
They’re fun for boys and girls
There are toilets everywhere
We live in a toilet world
Toilets make me happy
They are super great
I drop my pants and sit on one
When I need to defecate

Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Take me to the toilet
Toilets are amazing
Take me to the toilet
Toilets are amazing
Take me to the toilet
Toilets are amazing
Take me to the toilet
Toilets are amazing